Sunday, December 27, 2015

Love Neighbors in Need - including refugees, Muslims, women, the poor, and anyone else.

I had this column published in the Dec. 26, 2015 LeaderTelegram. I'm not sure how long that will remain online, so I offer you the text below.

This column grew out of my frustration with the crazy rhetoric of many of the GOP candidates, plus certain Christian leaders, and the pundits on TV who are pushing for a world that is distinctly against the teaching of Jesus, an agenda that is born much more out of fear and lack of trust than it is the Gospel.

Here is the article:

During Advent, most churches will hear from John the Baptist at least one Sunday. His words “prepare the way” and “repent” are important to hear before Jesus is born.

John prepares the way by offering a new ethic and a new economy to a people who have forgotten God’s vision: the command to love God and to love neighbor, straight out of the Torah.

He calls us to repent of political and religious sins that leave people in poverty; that push the sick, widows, orphans and foreigners to the margins; that use the power of the state for violence and punishment instead of mercy and life-building.

The people ask John, “What must we do?” He responds practically: “If you have two coats, give one away; if you see someone hungry, then feed them.”

This is not about personal piety, but about building God’s community based on hope, peace, joy and love.

Some tax collectors ask the same question. He says not to take more than they are allowed ― not to use their power to exploit. He tells the Roman soldiers they also should not extort or use their power for financial gain.

It’s the same message of the prophets and Jesus: Do not take advantage of the poor and powerless, but lift them up and change the systems that create poverty.

I am disturbed, especially now that we are in Christmas, that many of my fellow Christians say and do things against that Gospel message.

Dangerous and unbiblical rhetoric is being offered by presidential candidates, Christian leaders and TV pundits. One candidate suggested tagging, and even banning, all Muslims. Though many disagree, it hasn’t affected his popularity.

Christians are vandalizing mosques and harassing Muslims. In Illinois, a tenured professor at evangelical Wheaton College received a leave of absence for a Facebook post suggesting Christianity and Islam share a common foundation.

Ironically, the professor is from Oklahoma, one of numerous places around the country that refused the hope of Advent for the idol of fear, passing laws banning Sharia, or Islamic, law.

Governors of 31 states announced they will not welcome Syrian refugees, showing not only a woeful lack of understanding of basic civics, but of basic civility, and a failure of understanding the command to give away extra coats and feed the hungry.

Just last week a Virginia county closed all its schools simply because a geography teacher assigned her students an art project to try writing a sentence in Arabic calligraphy, and she received many threatening emails. Perhaps they don’t know our numbers are Arabic, as are algebra, and many other things.

Mary and Joseph were political refugees. Imagine Egypt banning all Jews. Imagine the innkeeper not having the compassion to allow them to stay in the barn. Imagine Joseph and Mary turning away the shepherds because of a stereotype or the Magi because they were foreigners with a “false” religion.

Jesus said whatever we do to the least of these, we do to him. Vandalizing a mosque is vandalizing Jesus’ home. Harassing a Muslim is insulting Jesus. Turning away a refugee is turning away Jesus. Looking into the eyes of the unclothed, the hungry, the homeless and the desperate and saying “No” is saying “No” to Jesus.

It certainly all misses the Christmas message.

I find it curious that the ones pushing this fear agenda are the ones complaining about a “war on Christmas.” The only war I see is being waged by those who follow the gospel of the Roman Empire, and not the bold gospel of love of Jesus Christ.

Almost 400 times, the Bible says, “Do not fear.” Love trumps fear.

This Advent, this Christmas season, let us remember the many refugees, strangers and foreigners who were God’s agents in the biblical story. Let us see Jesus not only in the manger, but in Syrian refugees, our homeless brothers and sisters downtown, our Muslim brothers and sisters in this community and worldwide, the poor and oppressed, the people who work but don’t earn a living wage, the sick and the tired and the desperate.

Let us not build walls and push away those who are different, but instead let us give cloaks and feed the hungry. To me, that’s the real Christmas spirit. Jesus’ way is the way of love.

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Three clergy columns in today's newspaper - ELCA, Catholic, independent biblical literalist rapturist

Dec. 19 2015

Today's Leader-Telegram newspaper has three Matters of Faith columns, a column that appears many Saturdays through the year, but rarely more than one on any Saturday. All three are about Christmas. Unfortunately, none of them appear to be in the online version of the newspaper, so I can't link to them. 

One is written by a Catholic Priest (Rev. Tom Krieg from St. James), one by an ELCA Lutheran (Rev. Jim Page of Trinity Lutheran), and on by a Grace Communion International (one of those rapture-ready biblical literalist [a contradiction, I know] 'denominations') (Rev. Roger Galstad). 

Galstad says "the lesson was made abundantly clear to Adam and Eve that our sins require the death penalty." He continues saying that God, "in his gracious love and kindness toward his personal creation" sacrificed an animal or two to clothe Adam and Eve, which "demonstrated to them and to us that sin must be dealt with through the vicarious shedding of blood of a perfect living creature." He goes on to show Jesus as the ultimate sacrificial animal for which we should say "thank you" to God for being so loving that He sent Jesus to be the final blood sacrifice, because, as Galstad says, "God is kind...merciful...gracious...and good." Crikey.*

Page's article was about giving thanks on Christmas for the families around us, whether biological or friends. He shared a story of three kids, all siblings, opening a present together on Christmas morning. It was their adoption papers, meaning they were out of foster care and now permanently a part of the family they'd been living with. 

Krieg used the line "Christmas is the night that heaven bent down and kissed the earth." It was a meditation on love referencing the many parish bike trips this summer from the church to the Dairy Queen. He speaks of Christmas as a time that tells us we "are connected to heaven, to God. Further, it gives me the sense that I can love God in return by longing for the things of heaven - mercy, peace, inclusive community - and trying to make those things happen 'on earth as it is in heaven'." 

Check the difference in their final lines, and consider how these ending words make you feel:

Galstad (Grace Communion): Let us therefore celebrate the coming of Jesus as our Savior since he and he alone is the perfect and willing sacrifice for our sins.

Page (Trinity Lutheran): Corbin [the eldest of the three siblings] gave a simple, yet memorable, hug to his family on Christmas Day. Let's do the same with our family. Merry Christmas!

Krieg (St. James Catholic): Do you know that when you wish peace and share your bread you shine like the Son? You shine like one kissed from above.

I wrote a Christmas-related article as well, but it did not make it in - perhaps next week. I'll post when it is printed; or if not I'll just post it here. I was going to include my final words here, but decided to just stay out of the way of these three and let them speak to each other. 

What are you thoughts on these words, so close to Christmas?

Please post and share below, and have a happy holiday season, a blessed Christmas if you celebrate it, and may you find peace and comfort if you are stressed, mourning, or anxious.

David



* I had originally started that paragraph with the words "Galstad's column is a disturbing journey through blood, violence, sin, wrath, sacrifice, and death death death. Substitutionary atonement theology is a dangerous mindset." I took them out, though, so as not to influence the reader; his words should stand alone as they are.

Galstad is the guy who called me out in a column or a LTTE for accepting the science of evolution. I also did a panel with him on science and religion at the senior center in the spring of 2014. Very nice guy in person, but his theology is not just bad or ill-thought, it's oppressive and fearful. All his columns seem to be "be afraid of God; become a Christian, or you're a goner for eternity! Because God loves you." He also wrote a column against gay marriage earlier this year in which we referred many times to a local ordained minister who had recently married her partner, and though he referenced her four or five times, he never referred to her as "Rev." as is her due, but only as "Ms." even though he referred to other ministers by their correct titles.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

For your pleasure - a year of Shakespeare Insults

Way back on Dec. 9, 2014, my hilarious friend Mimi gave me for my birthday a Shakespeare insult coffee mug (which is wonderful) and a book of random Shakespeare insult generation.

My immediate thought was, "I shall do an insult a day and post it via twitter!"

Which I have done every day, except a few that I forgot about, since Dec. 9, 2014.

Through the magic of IFTTT, I created a recipe that triggers on the hashtag #TodaysShakespeareInsult from any tweets from my account, and appends those tweets to an Evernote note. Therefore it was very easy me to offer to you this, the full collection of my Shakespeare Insults from the past year. The December ones are formatted funny because I didn't create the trigger recipe until January, and then I played with the recipe's formatting until I got something I liked. At the very end of this post are a couple photos of the outside cover of the book and a random showing of the inside.

The very first one, on Dec. 9, went out only on facebook, but thankfully I'd created much earlier another IFTTT recipe that creates a new note in an Evernote folder for every facebook post I write.

Here is the very first one:

Thou haggard knotty-pated clotpoll.

And now here are the rest:

"Thou ruttish foolhardy pizzle" - #TodaysShakespeareInsult

Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) December 10, 2014

"Thou withered salt-butter hill of flesh" - #TodaysShakespeareInsult


December 11, 2014 at 07:30AM

"Thou beef-witted deboshed prig" - #TodaysShakespeareInsult


December 13, 2014 at 07:35AM

"Thou plume-plucked foolhardy bung" - #TodaysShakespeareInsult


December 15, 2014 at 10:24PM

"Thou vain il-breeding pizzle" - #TodaysShakespeareInsult


December 15, 2014 at 10:26PM

"Thou traitorous logger-headed hedge-pig" - #TodaysShakespeareInsult


December 16, 2014 at 07:25AM

"Thou pernicious dizzy-eyed hill of flesh" - #TodaysShakespeareInsult


December 17, 2014 at 07:25AM

"Thou bootless wry-necked enchantress" - #TodaysShakespeareInsult


December 18, 2014 at 07:30AM

"Thou spongy pigeon-livered clotpoll" - #TodaysShakespeareInsult


December 19, 2014 at 07:27AM

"Thou goatish beetle-headed whore-son" - #TodaysShakespeareInsult


December 20, 2014 at 07:27AM

"Thou abortive envious bugbear" - #TodaysShakespeareInsult

December 21, 2014 at 07:28AM

"Thou weedy dizzy-eyed apple-john" - #TodaysShakespeareInsult


December 22, 2014 at 07:29AM

"Thou spleeny onion-eyed varlet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult


December 23, 2014 at 09:25AM

"Thou odious flap-mouthed codpiece" #TodaysShakespeareInsult


December 24, 2014 at 09:32AM

"Thou barbarous murderous measle" #TodaysShakespeareInsult


December 26, 2014 at 09:27AM

"Thou barbarous swag-bellied elf-skin" #TodaysShakespeareInsult


December 27, 2014 at 01:45PM

"Thou cankered wry-necked codpiece" #TodaysShakespeareInsult


December 28, 2014 at 06:50AM

"Thou dankish burly-boned measle" #TodaysShakespeareInsult


December 29, 2014 at 09:05AM

"Thou ruttish bate-breeding drudge" #TodaysShakespeareInsult


December 31, 2014 at 11:57AM


January 01, 2015 at 08:08PM

"Thou odious roguish varlet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

January 02, 2015 at 08:08PM

----- January 03, 2015 at 11:33AM
"Thou haggard deformed varlet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult
— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 3, 2015
-----



---------- January 04, 2015 at 10:08AM

"Thou fawning knotty-pated bung"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult


— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 4, 2015


via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 05, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou three-suited envious hill-of-flesh"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult


— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 5, 2015


via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 06, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou vain knotty-pated hugger-mugger"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult


— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 6, 2015


via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 07, 2015 at 07:34AM

"Thou haggard envious horn-beast"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult


— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 7, 2015


via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 08, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou dankish lily-livered scut"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult


— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 8, 2015


via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 09, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou bat-fowling sodden-witted codpiece"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult (ed. note: I really like this one! Not quite bat-fouling, but still lol)


— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 9, 2015


via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 10, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou monstrous Hell-hated coxcomb"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult


— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 10, 2015


via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 11, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou ruttish fly-bitten swain"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult


— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 11, 2015


via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 12, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou foul-reeking salt-butter prig"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult


— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 12, 2015


via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 13, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou odious tottering ruffian"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult


— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 13, 2015


via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 14, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou three-suited white-livered scullion"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult


— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 14, 2015


via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 15, 2015 at 07:39AM

"Thou spongy envious horn-beast"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult


— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 15, 2015


via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 16, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou fen-sucked harpy bum-baily"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult (bum-baily: http://t.co/6sbh7q6R9v )


— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 16, 2015


via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 17, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou odious foolhardy mumble-news"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult


— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 17, 2015


via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 18, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou puking wry-necked drudge"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult


— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 18, 2015


via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 20, 2015 at 08:22AM

Yesterday's insult didn't go out. Here it is: "Thou abortive foolhardy codpiece"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult


— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 20, 2015


via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 20, 2015 at 08:23AM

"Thou hedge-born dull-eyed elf-skin"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult


— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 20, 2015


via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 21, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou incestuous tedious swain"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult


— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 21, 2015


via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 22, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou ruttish dizzy-eyed clod" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 22, 2015


via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 23, 2015 at 07:20AM

"Thou fawning glass-gazing strumpet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 23, 2015


via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 24, 2015 at 07:20AM

"Thou pinch-spotted shag-haired dotard" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 24, 2015


via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 25, 2015 at 07:21AM

"Thou beggerly worse-bodied wagtail" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 25, 2015


via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 26, 2015 at 07:21AM

"Thou three-suited roguish enchantress" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 26, 2015


via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 27, 2015 at 07:21AM

"Thou pinch-spotted fat-kidneyed dotard" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 27, 2015


via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 29, 2015 at 05:39PM

Zounds! thought I'd set #TodaysShakespeareInsult for rest of this week, but no. Here's Wednesday's "Thou churlish flap-mouthed apple-john"

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 29, 2015


via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 29, 2015 at 05:40PM

Zounds! thought I'd set #TodaysShakespeareInsult for rest of this week, but no. Here's today's: "Thou crooked-pated foolhardy mumble-news"

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 29, 2015


via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 30, 2015 at 07:41AM

"Thou bawdy mammering varlet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 30, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- January 31, 2015 at 07:42AM

"Thou crooked-pated harpy horn-beast" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 31, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- February 01, 2015 at 07:43AM

"Thou currish shrill-gorged rogue" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 1, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- February 02, 2015 at 07:44AM

"Thou bootless dizzy-eyed measle" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 2, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- February 04, 2015 at 04:04PM

"Thou beastly rump-fed ban-dog" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 4, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- February 05, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thouknavish shag-haired fustilarian" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 5, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- February 06, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou unmuzzled tedious flirtgill" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 6, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- February 07, 2015 at 09:53AM

"Thou crooked-pated puppy-headed bugbear" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 7, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- February 08, 2015 at 07:12PM

Getting it out late today, but there it is: "Thoubeastly flap-eared bung" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 9, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- February 09, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou cankered flap-mouthed canker-blossom" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (double dose of cankers!)

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 9, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- February 10, 2015 at 07:14AM

"Thou dankish murderous drudge" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 10, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- February 11, 2015 at 07:14AM

"Thou loathed muddy-mettled scullion" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 11, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- February 12, 2015 at 07:14AM

"Thou spleeny flap-mouthed swain" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 12, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- February 13, 2015 at 07:15AM

"Thou three-suited bate-breeding scut" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 13, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- February 14, 2015 at 07:16AM

"Thou frothy pigeon-livered drudge" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 14, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- February 15, 2015 at 07:17AM

"Thou mouldy deformed hill of flesh" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 15, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- February 16, 2015 at 07:35AM

"Thou bat-fowling onion-eyed elf-skin" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 16, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- February 17, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou vain fat-kidneyed pizzle" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 17, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- February 19, 2015 at 08:52AM

"Thou fen-sucked worse-bodied bung" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 19, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- February 20, 2015 at 08:08AM

"Thou loutish lumpish enchantress" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (though it seems to me an enchantress would be neither loutish nor lumpish...)

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 20, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- February 21, 2015 at 07:11AM

"Thou rank-scented roguish varlet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 21, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- February 22, 2015 at 07:24AM

"Thou vain sodden-witted drudge" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 22, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- February 23, 2015 at 07:26AM

"Thou spongy fusty hill of flesh" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 23, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- February 24, 2015 at 07:27AM

"Thou fen-sucked glass-gazing popinjay" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 24, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- February 25, 2015 at 07:27AM

"Thou dankish bacon-fed horn-beast" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 25, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- February 26, 2015 at 08:28AM

"Thou ribaudred frosty-spirited maggot" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 26, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- February 27, 2015 at 07:29AM

"Thou dog-hearted onion-eyed pumpion" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 27, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- February 28, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou foul-reeking deformed miscreant" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 28, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- March 03, 2015 at 07:49AM

"Thou Plume-plucked flap-mouthed bung" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 3, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- March 04, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou vain murderous hugger-mugger" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 4, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- March 05, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou fawning lily-livered scullion" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 5, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- March 06, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou dankish impudent apple-john" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 6, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- March 07, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou hedge-born shag-haired bed-swerver" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 7, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- March 08, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou churlish fat-kidneyed strumpet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 8, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- March 09, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou bat-fowling tedious dotard" #TodaysShakespeareInsult [This one has "Monday" written all over it... enjoy using this today!]

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 9, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- March 10, 2015 at 07:25AM

"Thou goatish dizzy-eyed elf-skin" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 10, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- March 11, 2015 at 07:25AM

"Thou saucy feeble rudesby" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 11, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- March 12, 2015 at 07:26AM

"Thou ruttish glass-gazing hugger-mugger" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 12, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- March 13, 2015 at 07:27AM

"Thou vain ill-breeding jackanapes" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 13, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- March 14, 2015 at 07:27AM

"Thou mouldy envious runagate" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 14, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- March 17, 2015 at 07:43AM

"Thou loutish glass-gazing gudgeon" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 17, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- March 18, 2015 at 08:14AM

"Thou three-suited flap-mouthed cutpurse" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 18, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- March 19, 2015 at 07:31AM

"Thou craven deformed prig" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 19, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- March 20, 2015 at 07:31AM

"Thou spleeny onion-eyed apple-john" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 20, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- March 23, 2015 at 07:27AM

"Thou bat-fowling frosty-spirited maggot" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 23, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- March 24, 2015 at 07:34AM

"Thou beastly lumpish hedge-pig" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 24, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- March 25, 2015 at 07:42AM

"Thou crooked-pated fool-born pumpion" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 25, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- March 28, 2015 at 11:25AM

"Thou dissembling deformed nut-hook". #TodaysShakespeareInsult Running late today, but here it is

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 28, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- March 29, 2015 at 07:30PM

"Thou knavish earth-vexing hill of flesh" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 30, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- March 30, 2015 at 07:30PM

"Thou cankered wry-necked cutpurse" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 31, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- March 31, 2015 at 07:25AM

"Thou hedge-born dull-eyed horn-beast" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 31, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- April 01, 2015 at 07:26AM

"Thou incestuous glass-gazing drudge" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) April 1, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- April 02, 2015 at 07:26AM

"Thou bawdy flap-mouthed pignut" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) April 2, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- April 03, 2015 at 07:26AM

"Thou plume-plucked murderous pumpion" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) April 3, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- April 04, 2015 at 07:27AM

"Thou rank-scented swag-bellied swain" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) April 4, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- April 05, 2015 at 07:28AM

"Thou crooked-pated clay-brained hag" #TodaysShakespeareInsult And as odd as it sounds to include it here, Happy Easter! He is risen!!

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) April 5, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- April 06, 2015 at 08:36PM

"Thou knavish shrill-gorged hugger-mugger" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) April 7, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- April 07, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou crooked-pated feeble bung" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) April 7, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- April 16, 2015 at 08:37AM

"Thou crooked-pated glass-gazing hedge-pig" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) April 16, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- April 17, 2015 at 07:38AM

"Thou spleeny lily-livered pignut" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) April 17, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- April 18, 2015 at 07:39AM

"Thou perfidious logger-headed hugger-mugger" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) April 18, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- April 20, 2015 at 09:42AM

"Thou three-suited soused canker-blossom" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) April 20, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- April 30, 2015 at 09:45AM

"Thou three-suited onion-eyed codpiece" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) April 30, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 01, 2015 at 09:26AM

"Thou fen-sucked lilly-livered bung" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 1, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 02, 2015 at 07:26AM

"Thou bat-fowling brassy bum-baily" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 2, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 03, 2015 at 07:26AM

"Thou crooked-pated lumpish polecat" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 3, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 06, 2015 at 08:47AM

"Thou odious brassy flirtgill" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 6, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 07, 2015 at 07:15AM

"Thou three-suited deformed caitiff" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 7, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 08, 2015 at 08:38AM

"Thou ruttish bacon-fed flirtgill" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 8, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 09, 2015 at 07:25AM

"Thou odious white-livered varlet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 9, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 10, 2015 at 07:25AM

"Thou vain knotty-pated malt-horse" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 10, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 11, 2015 at 07:26AM

"Thou plume-plucked dizzy-eyed wagtail" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 11, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 12, 2015 at 07:27AM

"Thou pestilent glass-gazing scut" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 12, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 13, 2015 at 07:33AM

"Thou surly flap-mouthed ban-dog" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 13, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 14, 2015 at 07:33AM

"Thou fawning sodden-witted horn-beast " #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 14, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 15, 2015 at 07:34AM

"Thou unctuous envious pizzle" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 15, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 16, 2015 at 07:35AM

"Thou pinch-spotted shag-haired giglot" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 16, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 17, 2015 at 07:36AM

"Thou bat-fowling puppy-headed bung" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 17, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 18, 2015 at 07:36AM

"Thou spleeny wry-necked rogue" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 18, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 19, 2015 at 07:38AM

"Thou beastly roguish popinjay" #TodaysShakespeareInsult ['popinjay' always reminds me of Scotty saying it in ST:TOS A Taste of Armageddon]

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 19, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 20, 2015 at 07:38AM

"Thou cankered feeble cutpurse" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 20, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 21, 2015 at 07:39AM

"Thou frothy ill-breeding ratsbane" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 21, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 22, 2015 at 07:41AM

"Thou ribaudred lily-livered clack-dish" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 22, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 23, 2015 at 07:41AM

"Thou weedy cockered hag" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 23, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 24, 2015 at 07:42AM

"Thou dankish fat-kidneyed swain" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 24, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 25, 2015 at 07:42AM

"Thou dog-hearted rump-fed maggot" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 25, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 26, 2015 at 07:43AM

"Thou reeky swag-bellied prig" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 26, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 27, 2015 at 07:43AM

"Thou three-suited flap-mouthed bugbear" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 27, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 28, 2015 at 07:46AM

"Thou tardy-gaited bate-breeding clack-dish" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 28, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 29, 2015 at 07:44AM

"Thou fawning shrill-gorged bugbear" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 29, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 30, 2015 at 07:45AM

"Thou pinch-spotted mewling bed-swerver" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 30, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- May 31, 2015 at 07:46AM

"Thou traitorous fusty enchantress" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 31, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- June 01, 2015 at 08:27AM

"Thou traitorous worse-bodied ratsbane" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 1, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- June 02, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou perfidious buck-washing pizzle" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 2, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- June 04, 2015 at 08:12AM

"Thou weedy lilly-livered runagate" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 4, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- June 04, 2015 at 08:14AM

"Thou reeky burly-boned hag" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (actually yesterday's - had the timer set wrong for when to send #Butitgetsyou2today!)

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 4, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- June 05, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou hedge-born logger-headed rogue" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 5, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- June 07, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou pernicious soused clotpoll" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 7, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- June 08, 2015 at 08:26AM

"Thou odious onion-eyed pumpion" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 8, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- June 09, 2015 at 07:27AM

"Thou vain clay-brained whore-son" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 9, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- June 10, 2015 at 07:27AM

"Thou tardy-gaited flap-mouthed scullion" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 10, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- June 11, 2015 at 07:28AM

"Thou un-bookish guts-griping hag" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 11, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- June 12, 2015 at 07:29AM

"Thou reeky wry-necked varlet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 12, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- June 16, 2015 at 07:48AM

"Thou spleeny swag-bellied clotpoll" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 16, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- June 17, 2015 at 07:35AM

"Thou dankish shrill-gorged bum-baily" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 17, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- June 18, 2015 at 01:26PM

"Thou goatish tottering mumble-news" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 18, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- June 20, 2015 at 08:28AM

"Thou bawdy sodden-witted dotard" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 20, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- June 25, 2015 at 07:31AM

"Thou barbarous foolhardy boor" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 25, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- June 26, 2015 at 07:41AM

"Thou knavish fool-born popinjay" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 26, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- June 27, 2015 at 07:42AM

"Thou cankered dizzy-eyed ratsbane" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 27, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- June 28, 2015 at 07:31AM

"Thou churlish earth-vexing measle" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 28, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- June 29, 2015 at 07:31AM

"Thou loathed flap-mouthed clotpoll" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 29, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- June 30, 2015 at 07:31AM

"Thou mangled bate-breeding jolthead" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 30, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- July 01, 2015 at 07:31AM

"Thou pernicious glass-gazing enchantress" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 1, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- July 02, 2015 at 07:31AM

"Thou unmannerly ill-breeding bed-swerver" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (*this* one is great! Say out loud - go ahead - delicious on the tongue)

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 2, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- July 04, 2015 at 02:51PM

"Thou bootless swaggering polecat" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (for July 4, I sought American-soundy words. 'appy birthday, 'Murka!)

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 4, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- July 05, 2015 at 07:31AM

"Thou spongy toad-spotted varlet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 5, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- July 06, 2015 at 07:31AM

"Thou traitorous lumpish malt-horse " #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 6, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- July 07, 2015 at 07:40AM

Scheduled for: 7:31am · 3 Jul 2015
"Thou rank-scented fly-bitten flirtgill" #TodaysShakespeareInsult


— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 7, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- July 09, 2015 at 09:04AM

"Thou crooked-pated bacon-fed pignut" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 9, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- July 10, 2015 at 07:53AM

"Thou puking mammering whore-son" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 10, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- July 17, 2015 at 03:41PM

"Thou spongy earth-vexing miscreant" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 17, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- July 18, 2015 at 07:41AM

"Thou fawning glass-gazing clack-dish" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 18, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- July 19, 2015 at 07:42AM

"Thou unctuous fat-kidneyed flirtgill" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 19, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- July 20, 2015 at 07:43AM

"Thou shard-borne unwashed prig" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 20, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- July 21, 2015 at 07:43AM

"Thou gor-bellied guts-griping bed-swerver" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 21, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- July 22, 2015 at 08:20AM

"Thou reeky harpy horn-beast" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 22, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- July 23, 2015 at 07:52AM

"Thou traitorous muddly-mettled mumble-news" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 23, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- July 24, 2015 at 07:52AM

"Thou dankish flap-mouthed malt-horse" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 24, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- July 25, 2015 at 07:35AM

"Thou withered foolhardy jolthead" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 25, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- July 26, 2015 at 07:37AM

"Thou mangled mewling runagate" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 26, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- July 27, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou dog-hearted feeble giglot" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 27, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- July 28, 2015 at 07:29AM

"Thou reeky cockered ratsbane" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 28, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- July 29, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou spongy tedious bed-swerver" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 29, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- July 30, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou puking bacon-fed scullion" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 30, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- July 31, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou gor-bellied frosty-spirited strumpet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 31, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 01, 2015 at 07:34AM

"Thou pestilent puppy-headed pumpion" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 1, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 03, 2015 at 09:15AM

"Thou pestilent salt-butter ban-dog" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 3, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 04, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou withered wry-necked scut" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 4, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 05, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou saucy swag-bellied horn-beast" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 5, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 06, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou currish tedious bum-baily" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 6, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 07, 2015 at 02:17PM

"Thou spleeny dizzy-eyed hedge-pig" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 7, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 08, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou reeky pigeon-livered bung" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 8, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 09, 2015 at 07:46AM

"Thou three-suited mammering canker-blossom" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 9, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 10, 2015 at 07:25AM

"Thou churlich flap-eared strumpet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 10, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 11, 2015 at 07:32AM

"Thou odious roguish caitiff" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 11, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 12, 2015 at 07:32AM

"Thou spongy grim-looked swain" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 12, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 13, 2015 at 07:35AM

"Thou fawning buck-washing whore-son" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (I first read "bush-wacking" but that's U.S. Old West, not Shakespeare :-) )

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 13, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 14, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou unctuous knotty-pated clod" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 14, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 15, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou pinch-spotted pigeon-livered bugbear" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 15, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 16, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou puking shag-haired malt-horse" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 16, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 17, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou churlish worse-bodied horn-beast" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 17, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 18, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou bawdy salt-butter elf-skin" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 18, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 19, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou mangled cullionly rudesby" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (eesh, that one does NOT roll off the tongue well...)

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 19, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 20, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou beslubbering guts-griping gudgeon" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 20, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 21, 2015 at 07:30PM

"Thou pernicious scurvy jackanapes" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 22, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 22, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou tardy-gaited tedious wagtail" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 22, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 23, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou shard-borne grim-looked prig" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 23, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 24, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou wayward pigeon-livered flirtgill" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 24, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 25, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou wayward fly-bitten varlet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 25, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 26, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou pinch-spotted cockered hag" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 26, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 27, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou clouted puppy-headed measle" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 27, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 28, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou gleeking envious hag" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (I believe this is the first appearance of "gleeking"; Shakespeare foresaw a TV show?)

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 28, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 29, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou bat-fowling deboshed caitiff" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 29, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 30, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou bawdy lumpish lewdster" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 30, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- August 31, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou plume-plucked mammering maggot" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 31, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- September 01, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou mouldy fly-bitten varlet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 1, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- September 05, 2015 at 08:46AM

"Thou clouted bacon-fed prig" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 5, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- September 06, 2015 at 07:42AM

"Thou barbarous sodden-witted runagate" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 6, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- September 07, 2015 at 07:43AM

"Thou beggarly pigeon-livered ratsbane" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 7, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- September 08, 2015 at 07:44AM

"Thou ruttish grim-looked clack-dish" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 8, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- September 09, 2015 at 07:45AM

"Thou surly knotty-pated drudge" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 9, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- September 10, 2015 at 07:45AM

"Thou withered shag-haired malt-horse" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 10, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- September 11, 2015 at 07:46AM

"Thou un-bookish cullionly varlet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 11, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- September 12, 2015 at 07:46AM

"Thou gore-bellied lumpish mumble-news" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 12, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- September 13, 2015 at 07:47AM

"Thou wayward mammering elf-skin " #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 13, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- September 14, 2015 at 07:47AM

"Thou vain hell-hated rudesby" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 14, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- September 15, 2015 at 07:48AM

"Thou mouldy rump-fed canker-blossom" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 15, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- September 16, 2015 at 07:48AM

"Thou tardy-gaited wry-necked popinjay" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 16, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- September 17, 2015 at 07:49AM

"Thou sheep-biting ill-faced giglot" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 17, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- September 18, 2015 at 07:50AM

"Thou unmannerly burly-boned cutpurse" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 18, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- September 19, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou beggarly earth-vexing pignut" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 19, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- September 20, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou cankered ill-faced bung" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 20, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- September 21, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou goatish dull-eyed puttock" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 21, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- September 22, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou pestilent sodden-witted fustilarian" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 22, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- September 23, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou spongy muddy-mettled hill of flesh" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 23, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- September 24, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou weedy feeble whore-son" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 24, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- September 25, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou beastly flap-mouthed codpiece" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 25, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- September 26, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou loutish foolhardy bugbear" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 26, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- September 27, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou beslubbering dull-eyed pizzle" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 27, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- September 28, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou spleeny shag-haired rogue" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 28, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- September 29, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou reeky brassy canker-blossom" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 29, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- September 30, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou rank-scented fat-kidneyed clotpoll" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 30, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- October 01, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou pinch-spotted grim-looked hugger-mugger" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 1, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- October 05, 2015 at 10:12AM

"Thou foul-reeking deformed scut" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 5, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- October 06, 2015 at 09:13AM

"Thou fawning pigeon-livered pignut" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 6, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- October 07, 2015 at 07:26AM

"Thou mouldy cullionly cutpurse" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 7, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- October 08, 2015 at 07:27AM

"Thou pinch-spotted unwashed varlet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 8, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- October 09, 2015 at 07:27AM

"Thou gor-bellied scurvy puttock" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 9, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- October 10, 2015 at 07:28AM

"Thou unbookish soused jolthead" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 10, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- October 11, 2015 at 07:29AM

"Thou traitorous harpy ruffian" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 11, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- October 15, 2015 at 04:47PM

"Thou odious frosty-spirited swain" #TodaysShakespeareInsult apologies for missing a couple days. Though I had loaded up the queue more.

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 15, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- October 15, 2015 at 04:48PM

"Thou three-suited feeble whore-son" #TodaysShakespeareInsult - the one I should have sent on Monday.

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 15, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- October 15, 2015 at 04:48PM

"Thou crooked-pated impudent pizzle" #TodaysShakespeareInsult - the one you should have received on Tuesday.

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 15, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- October 15, 2015 at 04:49PM

"Thou plume-plucked onion-eyed runagate" #TodaysShakespeareInsult - you should have gotten this one Wednesday

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 15, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- October 16, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou three-suited bate-breeding maggot " #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 16, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- October 20, 2015 at 07:58AM

"Thou odious salt-butter blood-sucker" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 20, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- October 20, 2015 at 07:58AM

"Thou wayward shag-haired hornbeast" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (this should have gone out Monday)

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 20, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- October 20, 2015 at 08:01AM

"Thou withered buck-washing rogue" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (this should have gone out Sunday)

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 20, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- October 20, 2015 at 08:01AM

"Thou unctuous fool-born hill of flesh" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (this should have gone out Saturday)

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 20, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- October 21, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou ruttish tedious hag" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 21, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- October 22, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou pestilent swag-bellied maggot" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 22, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- October 23, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou tardy-gaited grim-looked prig" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 23, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- October 24, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou clouted sodden-witted bung" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 24, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- October 25, 2015 at 09:05PM

"Thou incestuous half-faced bum-baily" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 26, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- October 26, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou beslubbering feeble caitiff" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 26, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- October 27, 2015 at 07:30PM

"Thou unmannerly beetle-headed flirtgill" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (gosh, this one sits on the tongue nicely!)

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 28, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- October 28, 2015 at 08:47AM

"Thou currish fool-born pumpion" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 28, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- October 29, 2015 at 09:35AM

"Thou hedge-born roguish blood-sucker" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 29, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- October 31, 2015 at 10:08PM

"Thou dog-hearted deformed malt-horse" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 1, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 01, 2015 at 11:30AM

"Thou haggard foolhardy boor" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 1, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 02, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou beslubbering prattling lewdster" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 2, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 04, 2015 at 08:20AM

"Thou goatish frosty-spirited codpiece" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 4, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 05, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou cankered sodden-witted swain" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 5, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 06, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou crooked-pated fly-bitten scut" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 6, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 07, 2015 at 07:31AM

"Thou mangled puppy-headed horn-beast" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 7, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 08, 2015 at 07:38AM

"Thou gleeking salt-butter clotpoll" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 8, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 09, 2015 at 07:32AM

"Thou dog-hearted pigeon-livered ratsbane " #TodaysShakespeareInsult [wow - three animals!]

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 9, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 10, 2015 at 07:38AM

"Thou perfidious wry-necked ruffian" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 10, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 11, 2015 at 07:39AM

"Thou three-suited fat-kidneyed jolthead" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 11, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 12, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou milk-livered foolhardy cutpurse" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 12, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 13, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou odious flap-mouthed varlet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 13, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 14, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou three-suited swaggering drudge" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 14, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 15, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou pestilent worse-bodied jolthead" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 15, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 16, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou pinch-spotted cockered rogue" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 16, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 17, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou shard-borne puppy-headed elf-skin" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 17, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 18, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou puking rump-fed caitiff" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 18, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 19, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou barbarous bate-breeding rudesby" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 19, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 20, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou fen-sucked lily-livered clotpoll" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 20, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 21, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou loutish bacon-fed dotard" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 21, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 22, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou dankish flap-eared scut" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 22, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 23, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou incestuous dull-eyed codpiece" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 23, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 24, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou spleeny bate-breeding hugger-mugger" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 24, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 25, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou loathed ill-breeding maggot" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 25, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 26, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou monstrous knotty-pated pumpion" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 26, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 27, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou reeky fly-bitten miscreant" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 27, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 28, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou pernicious impudent applejohn" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 28, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- November 29, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou spongy shag-haired malt-horse" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 29, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- November 30, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou spleeny fusty puttock" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 30, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- December 02, 2015 at 07:25AM

"Thou beastly muddy-mettled bung" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (this is yesterday's)

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) December 2, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- December 02, 2015 at 07:26AM

"Thou hedge-born half-face pignut" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (today's)

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) December 2, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- December 03, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou spleeny feeble swain" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) December 3, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- December 04, 2015 at 07:27AM

"Thou mangled fly-bitten flirtgill" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) December 4, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- December 05, 2015 at 07:27AM

"Thou wayward worse-bodied mumble-news" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) December 5, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- December 06, 2015 at 07:28AM

"Thou rank-scented half-faced ban-dog" #TodaysShakespeareInsult And today, a !חג חנוכה שמח

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) December 6, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- December 07, 2015 at 07:39AM

"Thou surly sodden-witted clack-dish" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) December 7, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- December 08, 2015 at 07:40AM

"Thou withered foolhardy rogue" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) December 8, 2015


via Twitter
-----------
---------- December 09, 2015 at 07:40AM

"Thou unctuous dull-eyed maggot" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) December 9, 2015


via Twitter
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---------- December 10, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou goatish shag-haired hill of flesh" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) December 10, 2015


via Twitter
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