My Mission, Should You Choose to Accept It - Sermon from Jan. 24, 2016.

“My Mission, Should You Choose to Accept It”
Sermon, Year C, Epiphany 3, January 24, 2016
Plymouth United Church of Christ, Eau Claire, WI
©2016 Rev. David J. Huber
Focus Scripture: Luke 4:14-21



I think we have in the way that this passage is presented, and where it is in Luke’s gospel, a beautiful construction by the writer, to place this here. Last week we read out of John’s Gospel Jesus was at a wedding in Cana at which he turned water into wine, which in John’s Gospel is Jesus’ first sign or declaration of who he is. And now here in Luke’s Gospel we get Jesus’ first public declaration of who he is. Jesus is saying things about himself. When he is at the synagogue to read from the scroll of Isaiah, he has already been baptized, had his forty days in the wilderness to be tempted, has come home and been teaching in his home territory. But then he comes to his home town, his home synagogue in Nazareth, and declares himself, as we read in the passage.

He’s not teaching in this moment. He’s proclaiming who he is. He’s setting his agenda, declaring his mission, and setting it against the scriptural tradition of his people - the Jewish people. He reads from the prophet Isaiah, one of many texts in the Jewish scriptures that looked forward to a messiah. The prophets offered challenge and calls to repentance when they were written, as well as warnings about a bad future, vt that also looked ahead to a time when God would continue to act on behalf of the people, including sending a messiah. And Jesus takes these words on himself:

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor.”

Then he does a sort of first century Palestine version of the mic drop. He rolls the scroll up, hands it off, and sits down, saying, “Today this scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.”

Jesus is firmly in his Jewish tradition here. He also announces that he is not only *in* in the tradition, but is the fulfillment, or at least one fulfillment, of that tradition. He is doing something new, but he is doing it in line with the tradition.

So when I said earlier that I think this is a beautiful way for Luke to begin Jesus’ public ministry in this gospel, the beauty that I see is in what Jesus’ mission is. How Luke establishes Jesus’ mission right here at the first, when he sets his agenda. It’s a mission of compassion. A mission of attention to individuals. A mission which says that each person matters. A mission that is not to support the position of the political and the religious powerful, but to minister to the human needs of all, wherever we are in life’s stations, but especially toward those who are powerless. To remind people that he is coming to the powerless. That there is, in God, this call to pay attention to the least. So the mission of Jesus is to bring the good news to the poor, ot proclaim release to the captives, to proclaim recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor. Jesus is there to turn things upside down. Not upside down through violent revolution, civil war, military take over, or political coup. He’s not looking to replace people in positions of power with himself, because he knows that doing so would not change the systems of oppression, it would merely replace who the oppressors are.

This is a turning upside down by boldly stating that the poor, the blind, the captives, the oppressed also have the God-given right to exist. That they also have a story to hear. They are to be noticed, to be recognized, to be known, and to be favored. That God is watching over them as well, and that they also just as much as anyone else deserve God’s attention, and deserve the attention of the powerful. That’s a radical nature of how Jesus introduces himself here.

“I have come to minister to all people, but especially to the least. To those who often get ignored by the religious and political systems.” Jesus says he has come on behalf of people. Not a nation, a tribe, or other group identity. But for individuals, for all people.

Jesus and God care about individuals. About each of us, personally and uniquely.

In the letter from Paul to the Corinthians that we read is a parallel to what Jesus said:

“On the contrary, the members of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and those members of the body that we think less honorable we clothe with greater honor, and our less respectable members are treated with greater respect; whereas our more respectable members do not need this. But God has so arranged the body, giving the greater honor to the inferior member, that there may be no dissension within the body, but the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together with it; if one member is honored, all rejoice together with it. Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.”

That also is part of the mission of Jesus that he announces here. Then Jesus ends with these words, “Today this scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.” Today! Today it is fulfilled. Not some day this will be fulfilled. Or at the end of my life this will be fulfilled, or that we need to wait. It’s today! God’s realm is today. Jesus’ presence is today. What God is doing is today.

I think these are good words up against those who have said over the centuries, before Jesus’ time, and words the church has too often said since Jesus’ time, said to the poor and the suffering, the slaves and outcast, the marginalized and oppressed, “We can’t relieve your suffering today. You just have to wait until you die, and then you’ll go to heaven and everything will be great because today we need you as a slave, or we don’t have the resources to lift you out of poverty, or to give you healthcare…” or whatever the excuses may be. might be. To lift up only a vision of some future time of goodness is to completely miss Jesus’ words here that it is fulfilled today.

Jesus says against the thinking that people have to wait, that the good news begins today. It is centered in this life, in the lives of people, of real people. The people around us, and also us! The God who is present in our lives watches over us today. Gives us the spirit today. Offers us hope today. Loves us today. I hope you all can feel that. Feel some sense of God’s presence in our lives because God is active in the here and now. I hope that you feel that. And I hope also, or I like to imagine anyway, that the people when Jesus was reading from the scroll of Isaiah that they felt that morning a shudder of hope in hearing the words. Or goosebumps of divine possibility. That there was some sense of energy in them that something has changed. Something significant has changed in the world and the way of God. Something is going to be different after this remarkable moment of Jesus’ proclamation of the good news. I hope that we can feel that today as well.

And I know also that too often the world around us seems to awfully different from God’s vision. Horrible things happen around us. Wars going on. Political fighting. Terrorism and fear of terrorism. Domestic abuse. The nastiness that you might see in on-line comments. Poverty and homelessness. Shootings in schools and elsewhere. Bombings. Natural disasters. People embezzling from those they are charged to be watching over. Houses burning down. There is a lot going on that make it very easy to forget that we have a loving God who is present, and alive, who loves. So it is good to go back to scripture. To continue to read our story, and to come together on Sundays to hear again our story that is embedded in the scriptures, and also the story that we continue in our lives and the story of history. Good to come together to remind us who we are and whose we are. Like watching over and over a favorite movie, or re-reading a favorite book, or re-hearing a favorite story. To remind us of God’s promises, even in the face of a world that seems to have forgotten or refuses - or is afraid - to believe them.

Especially good to re-read this passage in which Jesus says who he is, and in which he says that it is fulfilled today. Jesus is with us. Jesus is present. And to remember that we are the recipients of that legacy as Jesus has called together his body, which is the Church. As Paul says, the Body of Christ, in which all our individual skills, gifts, passions are included. We are the recipients of Jesus’ legacy, and we, too, are bearers of the hope because we have the Spirit as well! The Spirit of God is upon us. That is one thing we proclaim in the church, that the Spirit of God is upon us and that we can be the proclaimers, and the freedom-givers, the hope-bringings, the sight-giving. That it is fulfilled in us as well. It is fulfilled as well through our work, our hospitality, through our love, through our invitations extended to others to share in the good news, inviting others to hear the good news through hearing it and also by living it out.

Today this scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.

Amen.

"Sell All You Own and Follow Me" - Sermon October 11, 2015.

“Sell All You Own and Follow Me”
Sermon, Year B, Proper 23, October 11, 2015
Plymouth United Church of Christ, Eau Claire, WI
©2015 Rev. David J. Huber
Focus Scripture: Mark 10:17-31, Amos 5:6-7,10-15

It says in here, “Sell all you own and give the money to the poor and then you will have riches in heaven; then come and follow me.”

Sell all you have and give it to the poor and then follow me.

There is a part of me that has always liked these words, when I came across them in high school. I thought, “Ha! There’s a prophetic voice! Tell those rich people. Yeah! Give it to ‘em!” Always liked those words, “Sell all you have and give it to the poor and then follow me.”

But these words also haunt me, because I know they are being spoken to me. Not just to the “rich”, whoever that might be, but to me as well. They haunt me because I know I am not living them. I have not at any point in my life sold all that I have and given the money to the poor. I’ve given to the poor, and to charities, and to many good causes, but I’ve yet to sell everything on their behalf.

So I like these words, but they are also a challenge and a haunting because I know that I cannot live up to them. Or I haven’t lived up to them, anyway. What Jesus does here is what he often does: he offers an extreme vision of God’s realm. We can say the words are hyperbolic, but that might let us off the hook too easily. Jesus is offering this extreme vision of God’s realm, and that’s what Jesus does. He likes to push and push and push the boundaries and expand the margins to push us out of our comfortable places to at least get us to think differently about how we live, how we relate to the world.

So Jesus is pushing on the commandments here. The Commandments, that list of ten that God gave to Moses. They are certainly important. He doesn’t say that they aren’t important or that we should forget about the ten commandments. Following and keeping them is a good thing. The commandments are very much a way to keep society intact and functioning. They offer us a way to show love to our neighbors by at least not negatively affecting them. When they were given to Moses, they were a people who had just escaped hundreds of years of slavery. They were in the wilderness on the way to the Promised Land, ready to form a new society, a new way of living together, so the commandments very important in forming that community about not negatively affecting your neighbors. Don’t murder, don’t steal, don’t covet. And don’t bear false witness. That’s one we don’t often talk about, bearing false witness, but I have thought a lot about it the past couple years. Don’t bear false witness. I’m thinking about it because I see it all over. It seems to be a commandment forgotten far too often, especially by people of faith. I see it in online dialogues and political discourse. Attacking the person instead of an idea, or attributing false motives to a person’s thoughts. Building strawmen. strawmen. Taking things to an extreme. Basically lying about each other, or even themselves, to make a point. I would like to see us stop that. A lot less bearing false witness. We’d be a lot more polite and more gentle.

The Commandments are very important, and we don’t want to let them go. But Jesus is also telling this man who comes to him, who says that he has kept all the commandments, Jesus says, basically, “that’s not enough. It’s good, but not quite enough.” The man says “I have kept them from my youth” to which jesus says, “But you lack one thing.” You may have kept the commandments, but you have missed something. The commandments are a beginning, a minimum, but not enough,. “You have to go beyond”, Jesus is saying. “Don’t just not hurt your neighbor, but go out and help and heal. Be a positive force for your neighbor. Show them love and mercy and gratitude.”

And maybe Jesus is also telling this young man that however much he feels that he has kept the commandments since his youth, that maybe at some level his wealth is a sign that he hasn’t kept to them at the level he thinks, or at the level that Jesus would prefer. That maybe this man’s wealth, at least at some level, a theft of some sorts from the poor, from his neighbors, and it ought to be given back.

We had in the reading from the prophet Amos, “Don’t just avoid evil, but seek what is good.” Seek what is good. “And let the first be last, and let the last be first”, Jesus says. “Leave all behind for the sake of the good news,” he says.

That is easier said than done, I know. I’ve not done it. I’ve not left everything behind to follow Jesus. I still have possessions. A place to live. I do, however, find some consolation in my failures in Jesus’ statement that no one is good but God alone. There is no expectation that we have to god-like. We should strive for God’s realm, and strive to be better followers of Jesus. But God knows we’re not perfect. So God offers us grace to rely on, to fall back on. To know that in our imperfection, God doesn’t stop loving us. Even if we don’t fulfill everything the way we should, God still loves us. God is still there for us.

So we are not going to hear Jesus’ words and sell all we own and follow him. At least, I don’t think most normal people would. I’ve not known many, probably none, who have done that. Maybe the men and women who join monasteries or other religious orders with vows of poverty do that. But we’re not going to sell all we own. Especially here in Wisconsin. You can feel the change in the weather already here. How do you sell all you own and yet still survive the winter? Do we all also have to move to the desert or a tropical place where we don’t have to worry about winter cold? You can see how truly difficult it is to survive winter without a place to live if you join us in the street ministry during the winter. Without clothing, shelter, food, it’s really difficult to survive. It is life-draining to be homeless. So I don’t think Jesus is saying to make ourselves homeless. You can also come Saturday to make the meal with us at Community Table, and be in contact with people who aren’t necessarily homeless, but who do have a lack of food. Jesus is not saying that we should go hungry. Join us and see how difficult it is to go on in life when you have a shortage of food, even if you do have a place to live.

So Jesus isn’t saying be homeless, or go hungry, or put yourself into financial bindings. But he does like to push us out of our comfort zone, and to think about what it might look like if we were closer to what he asks, if we were more generous. What would it look like to sell all we own? What would it look like to sell half of what we own, and give it to the poor? What would it look like to reduce your lifestyle at some level, by a quarter, say, or maybe even to just buy less and get out of the consumption ratrace and have more left to give away.

Or maybe wealth and riches are not your issues. I know you all in this congregation, and I don’t know of anyone in this church who suffers from too much wealth. As a church we don’t, and as individuals we don’t, not as we normally think of “the rich”. So maybe this is not a problem in this congregation. And we can hear Jesus’ words and then question not about money, but “What is it that I cling to that keeps me from following Jesus more fully?” My sense of self, my ideas about how things ought to be. It could be ideas, things, people, fear. What is it that I cling to that keeps me from fully following Jesus? That’s a good question to ask. And then give that up, and find riches in heaven as you follow Jesus. Then after you’ve gotten rid of that one, maybe you find something else that gets in the way, so let go of that. Then maybe something else. It’s a journey. Not something that we perfect, and certainly don’t perfect in one moment, but a constant journey of shedding or letting go of what gets in the way, and growing stronger in discipleship and growing closer to God and Jesus’ way. That involves doing more ministry, like helping with the street ministry, or going to the Community Table. Or letting go of the fear and anxiety of being invitational: invite someone to the Halloween party, to introduce people to the people in this congregation, and maybe even introduce them to God.

It’s not that we must be perfect today. We are all on a journey, that is a life-long journey. We never truly complete it. We never achieve perfection, but do it one day at a time. Letting go of one thing at a time, moving closer to joining in Jesus’ footsteps. A life-long journey, one day at a time, trusting that God’s grace never condemns but is always lifting up, forgiving, sending a Spirit of renewal and new life, continually saying, “Keep following me”. To keep growing, to keep following, and to keep making the world a more loving world.

Amen.

"Faith is a Verb" - sermon from August 30, 2015.

This is getting posted many months late, but I like it enough that I thought it should still be shared even given the lateness. May you find a blessing in this sermon!

“Faith Is a Verb”
Sermon, Year B, Proper 17, August 30, 2015
Plymouth United Church of Christ, Eau Claire, WI 
©2015 Rev. David J. Huber
Focus Scripture: James 1:17-27, Mark 7:1-8, 14-15, 21-23





Over the last couple of years I’ve been slowly growing more and more into the thought of not liking the word “Christian” so much as a description, or a way to talk about the faith that I proclaim or how I think of myself. Though that is what I am. But there is something about the word that is not as active as I would like it to be. To me, the word implies that the importance is on what I believe. THe precepts, the doctrine, the faith claims. 

But the first Christians did not call themselves by that name. They called themselves “Followers of Jesus”. Or disciples or apostles of Jesus, or most commonly they called themselves “followers of The Way”. Words that described how they lived. The key words being “follower” or “disciple” are action words. Words about how they lived, not about the belief of abstract concepts. To be a follower of Jesus is to be a verb. 

To live the way that Jesus would have us live.

There is the old question of, “If you were to be put on trial for being a Christian (or being a follower of Jesus) would there be enough evidence to convict you?” 

Something to think about Would you life *show* what you believed? Were the hungry fed, were the prisoners released, were the suffering cared for, were the poor championed, did you treat your neighbors with love and fairness, did you share the good news and invite people to share in the good new with you, did you deal ethically with people at work and in the rest of your life, did you offer forgiveness, did you bridle your tongue, did you watch what you say, did you strive to lift up and not to destroy, did you live humbly, meekly, peacefully?

That’s why I like to say that I am a follower of Jesus, or a disciple of Jesus. I am trying to live like him. I want to live like Jesus did. And I certainly don’t do that well by any means. I stumble and fall and make mistakes, as we all do. But it is a striving to be more like Jesus wants us to be. 

The writer of the letter of James is saying here that it is not enough to believe, to accept a set of belief statements, or to make intellectual assent to whatever you are “supposed” to believe. One has to live it. Go beyond the believing and live it. 

Later in the letter, and we will read these words next week, he says that faith without works, he says, is dead. Not in this passage, but elsewhere in the letter. You’ll hear that in a few weeks.

He did say in this passage: “But be doers of the word, and not merely hearers who deceive themselves.”

He goes on to say, “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to care for orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.”

For if any are hearers of the word and not doers, they are like those who look at themselves in a mirror.”

It’s to be a disciple. A lived faith.

That’s what the church is about, discipleship. Everything we do is related to discipleship in one way or another, but this coming year we’re focusing on it specifically, with our discipleship plans and ideas. Connect - Grow - Love. To connect with others, to grow in faith, and to live the faith through acts of love. We’re focusing on it specifically this year.

And I want to mention that over the years, some people have wanted to remove this letter from the Bible or even to keep it out when the early Christians were deciding which ones to put into the New Testament. Martin Luther wasn’t a fan of it. 

The reason being that this letter could be twisted into ways to turn our faith, to turn being a Jesus follower, into a never-ending attempt to earn God’s love by doing good works, and losing God’s love if we do bad works. That could be twisted, and has been twisted, into toxic religion of fear and anxiety. 

But that is not the intent of the letter at all. The intent is to say, “Okay, now you’ve been baptised, you’ve made a faith claim, you’ve accepted God’s unconditional love: now go spread it to others! Don’t keep it yourself, don’t rest on your laurels, don’t think you’re done.” You have the salvation; but Jesus has called us to work for the realm of God, so go do stuff. Do it with a sense of joy, because we all already have God’s love. We are all loved by God unconditionally. Show your gratitude by living the way Jesus wants you to. Align yourself with God’s vision. Follow where Jesus has gone. 

Jesus also said in the Gospel passage that it isn’t what goes into a person that defiles, it’s what comes out. What comes out, whether it be speech or action. Not about making sure you’re doing the proper rituals or following the rules to a T, with no regard how you live in community or toward others. But Jesus says it’s not failure to follow the rules or traditions that defile us, it’s what we say and do that can do it. As James said, “If any think they are religious, and do not bridle their tongues but deceive their hearts, their religion is worthless.” 

Ouch. I say “ouch” because I know that applies to me. I don’t always bridle my tongue, and too many times have let it go very much unbridled in snarkiness, sarcasm, or just shutting down a conversation by shutting down the person.

So I made a New Year’s resolution coming into 2015 to bridle my tongue a lot better than I have been when I disagree with someone, or an idea, or see something that is so utterly ignorant it enrages me. Especially in online conversations where the consequences of unbridled tongue are much less, but in person as well. My heart, my spirit, were feeling the effects of the negativity. I think we see too much of that negative dialogue in our culture. Too much shouting and dehumanizing, and not enough conversation that leads somewhere helpful. We can disagree in positive ways; we can be angry in ways that don’t lash out to hurt others or demean or dehumanize; use that anger to build new ways of compassion instead of just destroying people.

I’ve not kept to that resolution like I’d like to. I’ve fallen. But I have faith that God loves me anyway, and that makes it easier to keep trying to live the way I want to live. That even if I fail, I don’t lose God’s love. God does not condemn me, God always forgives. 

I also know that when I misbehave, I know that it does not mean I’ve lost God’s love, but it does mean that when I am misbehaving, I make it impossible for others to see God’s love coming through me, because it isn’t. 

Being a Jesus follower really is about actions. Even if I wrote the most perfect four hundred page treatise proving the doctrine of the Trinity and believed every word of it, it’s worthless if I am not treating people, or the world, or my community, with respect and dignity.

Worthless if I don’t act like I believe it. Worthless if my belief has no positive impact on how I live as a disciple. 

So you have some opportunities to live your discipleship. 

Tuesday night you have a chance to be out doing and living discipleship: we’ll be serving watermelon and lemonade as part of our Tuesday night street ministry. This is a pretty low commitment, and not scary, opportunity. We will let the street ministry people be the ones in charge of praying with people, listening to their stories, helping them with water, food, clothing, and whatever needs they have. So you won’t have to do that. All you have to do is serve watermelon and lemonade, greet people with a smile, look them in the eye, tell them we’re doing this as an act of love and connection - there’s that word I’ve been using a lot lately! - with our community, and maybe chat a bit with them. It will expand your world, and that’s a good thing.

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God is to take care of widows and orphans - and in this case, people who are homeless. 

Another way is to become part of a pastoral care ministry. I’d love to see us have a group of a few people, or even a lot of people, who would live their discipleship through prayer: praying for this congregation, praying for Eau Claire. Praying that God send us the people God has designated for us, praying for the success of our ministry, praying for the strength of our fellowship, that we beacons of light and hope in the Chippewa Valley. It would also be connecting with people, but does not have to be physical: not visiting per se, but I’d like to see each member of this congregation receive a phone call or a letter every three months from someone just to say “I’m thinking of you today, people are praying for you”. It would include something I’d like to see: connecting with people a year after a death, be it a spouse or a child or a parent, to call or write them to say “I know the first anniversary after the death is coming up - please know that you are in my prayers and thoughts.” 

It’s a way for us to connect more closely within our fellowship - either by being the intentional connector, or being connected to. 

And it’s a group that would never have to have a meeting, or a chairperson, or an annual report, or a secretary. It would take some reporting back to the office just to let us know what you’ve done, but that’s it. 

If you’d like to be part of this ministry - being doers of the word - please drop the card in your bulletin in the offering plate. 

It could include sending birthday cards, anniversary cards, get well cards. I’ve been sending birthday cards to people since I came here, but I’m thinking that would be good for someone or someones else to do - and I could send out cards on the anniversaries of your baptisms! I think that would be pretty cool, and a reminder to us who have been baptized that we don’t have just birthdays, but we also have re-birthdays. A reminder that on such and such a date, you took a vow (or perhaps later confirmed vows made on your behalf) to live by the Way of Jesus. 

And today we celebrate a baptism! The entry of a person into the fellowship of the Church. That outward and visible sign of an inward invisible grace. A death to the self, and rebirth into the body of Christ that is the Church. Baptism is always a beginning of a journey. Whether it be a baby or an adult being baptised. It is the beginning of a journey into a life of faith. And just as the act of baptism is outward and public with the application of water and the words we speak, so also our faith is to be lived outward and public through acts of generosity, compassion, and love done in Jesus’ name as disciples. 

So I challenge you to consider if the Spirit is leading you to help on Tuesday night or maybe on the pastoral care team. I also ask that as we come to the baptism today, pay attention to the words that we are saying. Pay attention to the words that we are saying in the baptismal covenant. Be mindful to what is being said, and ask yourself, “Have I been living up to that?” And don’t ask it in a way so that you beat yourself up for not living up to it. I never want people, and I don’t think God wants people, to beat ourselves up for making mistakes. Know that absolutely and for sure God loves you, God forgives you, and you always have God’s grace. But admit to where you could do better in living up to those vows, and let it change your heart. 

And see where that takes you in your discipleship. See where that takes you as a follower of Jesus.

Amen.

Just having some fun tonight - a bit of levity in stressful times. A simple "share of yourself" kind of game.

Everything is so serious on Facebook these days. Let's have a little fun.
Three names I go by
1. David (and *NEVER* Dave- not ever; nope, not in any way, ever ever ever; either David, or something that is entirely unlike it, except for #3 below)
2. Hubes
3. Dare

Three places I lived
1. Harlem
2. Morningside Heights
3. Manoa Valley

Three places I have worked
1. McKinsey & Co.
2. Lehman Brothers
3. A number of wonderful congregations, including Plymouth (Eau Claire) and Plymouth (Brooklyn) and Central Union UCC and Broadway UCC

Three things I love to watch
1. Fish and birds and other wildlife
2. Sunrises and sunsets
3. Blacklist

Three places I have been
1. The Janesville GM Plant Manager's private bathroom
2. Mercy Hospital, Janesville
3. "The zone"

Three things I love to eat
1. Foie gras (and any liver, whether chicken, duck, monkfish, lamb, etc.)
2. Shellfish of any kind
3. My mom's rhubarb pie

Three people I think will respond
1. Sloeberry "John Smith" Beltpenhammer-Fruitdrinkgorer
2. Gatorade Bill
3. Susan "Porterhouse" Swivelbottomthistleboor

Three favorite drinks (not water)
1. Coffee
2. Tea
3. Sake (drier the better)

Three things I am looking forward to:
1. Festival of Homiletics (not sure I'm going, but I'm hoping to!!!)
2. MADD camp
3. Having my lungs removed in a blender/surry accident

Now here is what you're supposed to do. Please don't spoil the fun. Copy and paste the blank version below in your status with your answers. Don't forget to copy a blank copy in your comments for other people to copy.

Everything is so serious on Facebook these days. Let's have a little fun.
Three names I go by
1.
2.
3.
Three places I lived
1.
2.
3.
Three places I have worked
1.
2.
3.
Three things I love to watch
1.
2.
3.
Three places I have been
1.
2.
3.
Three things I love to eat
1.
2.
3.
Three people I think will respond
1.
2.
3.
Three favorite drinks (not water)
1.
2.
3.
Three things I am looking forward to:
1.
2.
3.
Now here is what you're supposed to do. Please don't spoil the fun. Copy and paste the blank version below in your status with your answers.
Don't forget to copy a blank copy in your comments for other people to copy.

Love Neighbors in Need - including refugees, Muslims, women, the poor, and anyone else.

I had this column published in the Dec. 26, 2015 LeaderTelegram. I'm not sure how long that will remain online, so I offer you the text below.

This column grew out of my frustration with the crazy rhetoric of many of the GOP candidates, plus certain Christian leaders, and the pundits on TV who are pushing for a world that is distinctly against the teaching of Jesus, an agenda that is born much more out of fear and lack of trust than it is the Gospel.

Here is the article:

During Advent, most churches will hear from John the Baptist at least one Sunday. His words “prepare the way” and “repent” are important to hear before Jesus is born.

John prepares the way by offering a new ethic and a new economy to a people who have forgotten God’s vision: the command to love God and to love neighbor, straight out of the Torah.

He calls us to repent of political and religious sins that leave people in poverty; that push the sick, widows, orphans and foreigners to the margins; that use the power of the state for violence and punishment instead of mercy and life-building.

The people ask John, “What must we do?” He responds practically: “If you have two coats, give one away; if you see someone hungry, then feed them.”

This is not about personal piety, but about building God’s community based on hope, peace, joy and love.

Some tax collectors ask the same question. He says not to take more than they are allowed ― not to use their power to exploit. He tells the Roman soldiers they also should not extort or use their power for financial gain.

It’s the same message of the prophets and Jesus: Do not take advantage of the poor and powerless, but lift them up and change the systems that create poverty.

I am disturbed, especially now that we are in Christmas, that many of my fellow Christians say and do things against that Gospel message.

Dangerous and unbiblical rhetoric is being offered by presidential candidates, Christian leaders and TV pundits. One candidate suggested tagging, and even banning, all Muslims. Though many disagree, it hasn’t affected his popularity.

Christians are vandalizing mosques and harassing Muslims. In Illinois, a tenured professor at evangelical Wheaton College received a leave of absence for a Facebook post suggesting Christianity and Islam share a common foundation.

Ironically, the professor is from Oklahoma, one of numerous places around the country that refused the hope of Advent for the idol of fear, passing laws banning Sharia, or Islamic, law.

Governors of 31 states announced they will not welcome Syrian refugees, showing not only a woeful lack of understanding of basic civics, but of basic civility, and a failure of understanding the command to give away extra coats and feed the hungry.

Just last week a Virginia county closed all its schools simply because a geography teacher assigned her students an art project to try writing a sentence in Arabic calligraphy, and she received many threatening emails. Perhaps they don’t know our numbers are Arabic, as are algebra, and many other things.

Mary and Joseph were political refugees. Imagine Egypt banning all Jews. Imagine the innkeeper not having the compassion to allow them to stay in the barn. Imagine Joseph and Mary turning away the shepherds because of a stereotype or the Magi because they were foreigners with a “false” religion.

Jesus said whatever we do to the least of these, we do to him. Vandalizing a mosque is vandalizing Jesus’ home. Harassing a Muslim is insulting Jesus. Turning away a refugee is turning away Jesus. Looking into the eyes of the unclothed, the hungry, the homeless and the desperate and saying “No” is saying “No” to Jesus.

It certainly all misses the Christmas message.

I find it curious that the ones pushing this fear agenda are the ones complaining about a “war on Christmas.” The only war I see is being waged by those who follow the gospel of the Roman Empire, and not the bold gospel of love of Jesus Christ.

Almost 400 times, the Bible says, “Do not fear.” Love trumps fear.

This Advent, this Christmas season, let us remember the many refugees, strangers and foreigners who were God’s agents in the biblical story. Let us see Jesus not only in the manger, but in Syrian refugees, our homeless brothers and sisters downtown, our Muslim brothers and sisters in this community and worldwide, the poor and oppressed, the people who work but don’t earn a living wage, the sick and the tired and the desperate.

Let us not build walls and push away those who are different, but instead let us give cloaks and feed the hungry. To me, that’s the real Christmas spirit. Jesus’ way is the way of love.

Three clergy columns in today's newspaper - ELCA, Catholic, independent biblical literalist rapturist

Dec. 19 2015

Today's Leader-Telegram newspaper has three Matters of Faith columns, a column that appears many Saturdays through the year, but rarely more than one on any Saturday. All three are about Christmas. Unfortunately, none of them appear to be in the online version of the newspaper, so I can't link to them. 

One is written by a Catholic Priest (Rev. Tom Krieg from St. James), one by an ELCA Lutheran (Rev. Jim Page of Trinity Lutheran), and on by a Grace Communion International (one of those rapture-ready biblical literalist [a contradiction, I know] 'denominations') (Rev. Roger Galstad). 

Galstad says "the lesson was made abundantly clear to Adam and Eve that our sins require the death penalty." He continues saying that God, "in his gracious love and kindness toward his personal creation" sacrificed an animal or two to clothe Adam and Eve, which "demonstrated to them and to us that sin must be dealt with through the vicarious shedding of blood of a perfect living creature." He goes on to show Jesus as the ultimate sacrificial animal for which we should say "thank you" to God for being so loving that He sent Jesus to be the final blood sacrifice, because, as Galstad says, "God is kind...merciful...gracious...and good." Crikey.*

Page's article was about giving thanks on Christmas for the families around us, whether biological or friends. He shared a story of three kids, all siblings, opening a present together on Christmas morning. It was their adoption papers, meaning they were out of foster care and now permanently a part of the family they'd been living with. 

Krieg used the line "Christmas is the night that heaven bent down and kissed the earth." It was a meditation on love referencing the many parish bike trips this summer from the church to the Dairy Queen. He speaks of Christmas as a time that tells us we "are connected to heaven, to God. Further, it gives me the sense that I can love God in return by longing for the things of heaven - mercy, peace, inclusive community - and trying to make those things happen 'on earth as it is in heaven'." 

Check the difference in their final lines, and consider how these ending words make you feel:

Galstad (Grace Communion): Let us therefore celebrate the coming of Jesus as our Savior since he and he alone is the perfect and willing sacrifice for our sins.

Page (Trinity Lutheran): Corbin [the eldest of the three siblings] gave a simple, yet memorable, hug to his family on Christmas Day. Let's do the same with our family. Merry Christmas!

Krieg (St. James Catholic): Do you know that when you wish peace and share your bread you shine like the Son? You shine like one kissed from above.

I wrote a Christmas-related article as well, but it did not make it in - perhaps next week. I'll post when it is printed; or if not I'll just post it here. I was going to include my final words here, but decided to just stay out of the way of these three and let them speak to each other. 

What are you thoughts on these words, so close to Christmas?

Please post and share below, and have a happy holiday season, a blessed Christmas if you celebrate it, and may you find peace and comfort if you are stressed, mourning, or anxious.

David

* I had originally started that paragraph with the words "Galstad's column is a disturbing journey through blood, violence, sin, wrath, sacrifice, and death death death. Substitutionary atonement theology is a dangerous mindset." I took them out, though, so as not to influence the reader; his words should stand alone as they are.

Galstad is the guy who called me out in a column or a LTTE for accepting the science of evolution. I also did a panel with him on science and religion at the senior center in the spring of 2014. Very nice guy in person, but his theology is not just bad or ill-thought, it's oppressive and fearful. All his columns seem to be "be afraid of God; become a Christian, or you're a goner for eternity! Because God loves you." He also wrote a column against gay marriage earlier this year in which we referred many times to a local ordained minister who had recently married her partner, and though he referenced her four or five times, he never referred to her as "Rev." as is her due, but only as "Ms." even though he referred to other ministers by their correct titles.

For your pleasure - a year of Shakespeare Insults

Way back on Dec. 9, 2014, my hilarious friend Mimi gave me for my birthday a Shakespeare insult coffee mug (which is wonderful) and a book of random Shakespeare insult generation.

My immediate thought was, "I shall do an insult a day and post it via twitter!"

Which I have done every day, except a few that I forgot about, since Dec. 9, 2014.

Through the magic of IFTTT, I created a recipe that triggers on the hashtag #TodaysShakespeareInsult from any tweets from my account, and appends those tweets to an Evernote note. Therefore it was very easy me to offer to you this, the full collection of my Shakespeare Insults from the past year. The December ones are formatted funny because I didn't create the trigger recipe until January, and then I played with the recipe's formatting until I got something I liked. At the very end of this post are a couple photos of the outside cover of the book and a random showing of the inside.

The very first one, on Dec. 9, went out only on facebook, but thankfully I'd created much earlier another IFTTT recipe that creates a new note in an Evernote folder for every facebook post I write.

Here is the very first one:

Thou haggard knotty-pated clotpoll.

And now here are the rest:

"Thou ruttish foolhardy pizzle" - #TodaysShakespeareInsult

Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) December 10, 2014

"Thou withered salt-butter hill of flesh" - #TodaysShakespeareInsult

December 11, 2014 at 07:30AM

"Thou beef-witted deboshed prig" - #TodaysShakespeareInsult

December 13, 2014 at 07:35AM

"Thou plume-plucked foolhardy bung" - #TodaysShakespeareInsult

December 15, 2014 at 10:24PM

"Thou vain il-breeding pizzle" - #TodaysShakespeareInsult

December 15, 2014 at 10:26PM

"Thou traitorous logger-headed hedge-pig" - #TodaysShakespeareInsult

December 16, 2014 at 07:25AM

"Thou pernicious dizzy-eyed hill of flesh" - #TodaysShakespeareInsult

December 17, 2014 at 07:25AM

"Thou bootless wry-necked enchantress" - #TodaysShakespeareInsult

December 18, 2014 at 07:30AM

"Thou spongy pigeon-livered clotpoll" - #TodaysShakespeareInsult

December 19, 2014 at 07:27AM

"Thou goatish beetle-headed whore-son" - #TodaysShakespeareInsult

December 20, 2014 at 07:27AM

"Thou abortive envious bugbear" - #TodaysShakespeareInsult

December 21, 2014 at 07:28AM

"Thou weedy dizzy-eyed apple-john" - #TodaysShakespeareInsult

December 22, 2014 at 07:29AM

"Thou spleeny onion-eyed varlet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

December 23, 2014 at 09:25AM

"Thou odious flap-mouthed codpiece" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

December 24, 2014 at 09:32AM

"Thou barbarous murderous measle" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

December 26, 2014 at 09:27AM

"Thou barbarous swag-bellied elf-skin" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

December 27, 2014 at 01:45PM

"Thou cankered wry-necked codpiece" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

December 28, 2014 at 06:50AM

"Thou dankish burly-boned measle" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

December 29, 2014 at 09:05AM

"Thou ruttish bate-breeding drudge" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

December 31, 2014 at 11:57AM

January 01, 2015 at 08:08PM

"Thou odious roguish varlet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

January 02, 2015 at 08:08PM

----- January 03, 2015 at 11:33AM

"Thou haggard deformed varlet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 3, 2015

-----

---------- January 04, 2015 at 10:08AM

"Thou fawning knotty-pated bung"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 4, 2015

via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 05, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou three-suited envious hill-of-flesh"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 5, 2015

via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 06, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou vain knotty-pated hugger-mugger"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 6, 2015

via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 07, 2015 at 07:34AM

"Thou haggard envious horn-beast"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 7, 2015

via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 08, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou dankish lily-livered scut"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 8, 2015

via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 09, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou bat-fowling sodden-witted codpiece"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult (ed. note: I really like this one! Not quite bat-fouling, but still lol)

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 9, 2015

via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 10, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou monstrous Hell-hated coxcomb"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 10, 2015

via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 11, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou ruttish fly-bitten swain"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 11, 2015

via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 12, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou foul-reeking salt-butter prig"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 12, 2015

via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 13, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou odious tottering ruffian"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 13, 2015

via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 14, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou three-suited white-livered scullion"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 14, 2015

via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 15, 2015 at 07:39AM

"Thou spongy envious horn-beast"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 15, 2015

via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 16, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou fen-sucked harpy bum-baily"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult (bum-baily: http://t.co/6sbh7q6R9v )

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 16, 2015

via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 17, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou odious foolhardy mumble-news"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 17, 2015

via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 18, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou puking wry-necked drudge"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 18, 2015

via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 20, 2015 at 08:22AM

Yesterday's insult didn't go out. Here it is: "Thou abortive foolhardy codpiece"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 20, 2015

via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 20, 2015 at 08:23AM

"Thou hedge-born dull-eyed elf-skin"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 20, 2015

via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 21, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou incestuous tedious swain"
#TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 21, 2015

via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 22, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou ruttish dizzy-eyed clod" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 22, 2015

via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 23, 2015 at 07:20AM

"Thou fawning glass-gazing strumpet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 23, 2015

via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 24, 2015 at 07:20AM

"Thou pinch-spotted shag-haired dotard" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 24, 2015

via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 25, 2015 at 07:21AM

"Thou beggerly worse-bodied wagtail" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 25, 2015

via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 26, 2015 at 07:21AM

"Thou three-suited roguish enchantress" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 26, 2015

via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 27, 2015 at 07:21AM

"Thou pinch-spotted fat-kidneyed dotard" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 27, 2015

via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 29, 2015 at 05:39PM

Zounds! thought I'd set #TodaysShakespeareInsult for rest of this week, but no. Here's Wednesday's "Thou churlish flap-mouthed apple-john"

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 29, 2015

via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 29, 2015 at 05:40PM

Zounds! thought I'd set #TodaysShakespeareInsult for rest of this week, but no. Here's today's: "Thou crooked-pated foolhardy mumble-news"

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 29, 2015

via Twitter http://ift.tt/1kcFG7q
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---------- January 30, 2015 at 07:41AM

"Thou bawdy mammering varlet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 30, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- January 31, 2015 at 07:42AM

"Thou crooked-pated harpy horn-beast" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) January 31, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- February 01, 2015 at 07:43AM

"Thou currish shrill-gorged rogue" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 1, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- February 02, 2015 at 07:44AM

"Thou bootless dizzy-eyed measle" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 2, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- February 04, 2015 at 04:04PM

"Thou beastly rump-fed ban-dog" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 4, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- February 05, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thouknavish shag-haired fustilarian" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 5, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- February 06, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou unmuzzled tedious flirtgill" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 6, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- February 07, 2015 at 09:53AM

"Thou crooked-pated puppy-headed bugbear" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 7, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- February 08, 2015 at 07:12PM

Getting it out late today, but there it is: "Thoubeastly flap-eared bung" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 9, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- February 09, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou cankered flap-mouthed canker-blossom" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (double dose of cankers!)

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 9, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- February 10, 2015 at 07:14AM

"Thou dankish murderous drudge" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 10, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- February 11, 2015 at 07:14AM

"Thou loathed muddy-mettled scullion" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 11, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- February 12, 2015 at 07:14AM

"Thou spleeny flap-mouthed swain" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 12, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- February 13, 2015 at 07:15AM

"Thou three-suited bate-breeding scut" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 13, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- February 14, 2015 at 07:16AM

"Thou frothy pigeon-livered drudge" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 14, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- February 15, 2015 at 07:17AM

"Thou mouldy deformed hill of flesh" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 15, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- February 16, 2015 at 07:35AM

"Thou bat-fowling onion-eyed elf-skin" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 16, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- February 17, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou vain fat-kidneyed pizzle" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 17, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- February 19, 2015 at 08:52AM

"Thou fen-sucked worse-bodied bung" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 19, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- February 20, 2015 at 08:08AM

"Thou loutish lumpish enchantress" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (though it seems to me an enchantress would be neither loutish nor lumpish...)

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 20, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- February 21, 2015 at 07:11AM

"Thou rank-scented roguish varlet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 21, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- February 22, 2015 at 07:24AM

"Thou vain sodden-witted drudge" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 22, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- February 23, 2015 at 07:26AM

"Thou spongy fusty hill of flesh" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 23, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- February 24, 2015 at 07:27AM

"Thou fen-sucked glass-gazing popinjay" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 24, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- February 25, 2015 at 07:27AM

"Thou dankish bacon-fed horn-beast" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 25, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- February 26, 2015 at 08:28AM

"Thou ribaudred frosty-spirited maggot" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 26, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- February 27, 2015 at 07:29AM

"Thou dog-hearted onion-eyed pumpion" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 27, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- February 28, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou foul-reeking deformed miscreant" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) February 28, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- March 03, 2015 at 07:49AM

"Thou Plume-plucked flap-mouthed bung" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 3, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- March 04, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou vain murderous hugger-mugger" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 4, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- March 05, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou fawning lily-livered scullion" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 5, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- March 06, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou dankish impudent apple-john" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 6, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- March 07, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou hedge-born shag-haired bed-swerver" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 7, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- March 08, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou churlish fat-kidneyed strumpet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 8, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- March 09, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou bat-fowling tedious dotard" #TodaysShakespeareInsult [This one has "Monday" written all over it... enjoy using this today!]

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 9, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- March 10, 2015 at 07:25AM

"Thou goatish dizzy-eyed elf-skin" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 10, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- March 11, 2015 at 07:25AM

"Thou saucy feeble rudesby" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 11, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- March 12, 2015 at 07:26AM

"Thou ruttish glass-gazing hugger-mugger" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 12, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- March 13, 2015 at 07:27AM

"Thou vain ill-breeding jackanapes" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 13, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- March 14, 2015 at 07:27AM

"Thou mouldy envious runagate" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 14, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- March 17, 2015 at 07:43AM

"Thou loutish glass-gazing gudgeon" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 17, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- March 18, 2015 at 08:14AM

"Thou three-suited flap-mouthed cutpurse" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 18, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- March 19, 2015 at 07:31AM

"Thou craven deformed prig" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 19, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- March 20, 2015 at 07:31AM

"Thou spleeny onion-eyed apple-john" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 20, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- March 23, 2015 at 07:27AM

"Thou bat-fowling frosty-spirited maggot" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 23, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- March 24, 2015 at 07:34AM

"Thou beastly lumpish hedge-pig" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 24, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- March 25, 2015 at 07:42AM

"Thou crooked-pated fool-born pumpion" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 25, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- March 28, 2015 at 11:25AM

"Thou dissembling deformed nut-hook". #TodaysShakespeareInsult Running late today, but here it is

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 28, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- March 29, 2015 at 07:30PM

"Thou knavish earth-vexing hill of flesh" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 30, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- March 30, 2015 at 07:30PM

"Thou cankered wry-necked cutpurse" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 31, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- March 31, 2015 at 07:25AM

"Thou hedge-born dull-eyed horn-beast" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) March 31, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- April 01, 2015 at 07:26AM

"Thou incestuous glass-gazing drudge" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) April 1, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- April 02, 2015 at 07:26AM

"Thou bawdy flap-mouthed pignut" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) April 2, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- April 03, 2015 at 07:26AM

"Thou plume-plucked murderous pumpion" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) April 3, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- April 04, 2015 at 07:27AM

"Thou rank-scented swag-bellied swain" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) April 4, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- April 05, 2015 at 07:28AM

"Thou crooked-pated clay-brained hag" #TodaysShakespeareInsult And as odd as it sounds to include it here, Happy Easter! He is risen!!

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) April 5, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- April 06, 2015 at 08:36PM

"Thou knavish shrill-gorged hugger-mugger" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) April 7, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- April 07, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou crooked-pated feeble bung" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) April 7, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- April 16, 2015 at 08:37AM

"Thou crooked-pated glass-gazing hedge-pig" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) April 16, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- April 17, 2015 at 07:38AM

"Thou spleeny lily-livered pignut" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) April 17, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- April 18, 2015 at 07:39AM

"Thou perfidious logger-headed hugger-mugger" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) April 18, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- April 20, 2015 at 09:42AM

"Thou three-suited soused canker-blossom" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) April 20, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- April 30, 2015 at 09:45AM

"Thou three-suited onion-eyed codpiece" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) April 30, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- May 01, 2015 at 09:26AM

"Thou fen-sucked lilly-livered bung" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 1, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- May 02, 2015 at 07:26AM

"Thou bat-fowling brassy bum-baily" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 2, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- May 03, 2015 at 07:26AM

"Thou crooked-pated lumpish polecat" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 3, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- May 06, 2015 at 08:47AM

"Thou odious brassy flirtgill" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 6, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- May 07, 2015 at 07:15AM

"Thou three-suited deformed caitiff" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 7, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- May 08, 2015 at 08:38AM

"Thou ruttish bacon-fed flirtgill" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 8, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- May 09, 2015 at 07:25AM

"Thou odious white-livered varlet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 9, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- May 10, 2015 at 07:25AM

"Thou vain knotty-pated malt-horse" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 10, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- May 11, 2015 at 07:26AM

"Thou plume-plucked dizzy-eyed wagtail" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 11, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- May 12, 2015 at 07:27AM

"Thou pestilent glass-gazing scut" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 12, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- May 13, 2015 at 07:33AM

"Thou surly flap-mouthed ban-dog" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 13, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- May 14, 2015 at 07:33AM

"Thou fawning sodden-witted horn-beast " #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 14, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- May 15, 2015 at 07:34AM

"Thou unctuous envious pizzle" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 15, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- May 16, 2015 at 07:35AM

"Thou pinch-spotted shag-haired giglot" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 16, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- May 17, 2015 at 07:36AM

"Thou bat-fowling puppy-headed bung" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 17, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- May 18, 2015 at 07:36AM

"Thou spleeny wry-necked rogue" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 18, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- May 19, 2015 at 07:38AM

"Thou beastly roguish popinjay" #TodaysShakespeareInsult ['popinjay' always reminds me of Scotty saying it in ST:TOS A Taste of Armageddon]

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 19, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- May 20, 2015 at 07:38AM

"Thou cankered feeble cutpurse" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 20, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- May 21, 2015 at 07:39AM

"Thou frothy ill-breeding ratsbane" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 21, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- May 22, 2015 at 07:41AM

"Thou ribaudred lily-livered clack-dish" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 22, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- May 23, 2015 at 07:41AM

"Thou weedy cockered hag" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 23, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- May 24, 2015 at 07:42AM

"Thou dankish fat-kidneyed swain" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 24, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- May 25, 2015 at 07:42AM

"Thou dog-hearted rump-fed maggot" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 25, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- May 26, 2015 at 07:43AM

"Thou reeky swag-bellied prig" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 26, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- May 27, 2015 at 07:43AM

"Thou three-suited flap-mouthed bugbear" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 27, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- May 28, 2015 at 07:46AM

"Thou tardy-gaited bate-breeding clack-dish" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 28, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- May 29, 2015 at 07:44AM

"Thou fawning shrill-gorged bugbear" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 29, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- May 30, 2015 at 07:45AM

"Thou pinch-spotted mewling bed-swerver" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 30, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- May 31, 2015 at 07:46AM

"Thou traitorous fusty enchantress" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) May 31, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- June 01, 2015 at 08:27AM

"Thou traitorous worse-bodied ratsbane" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 1, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- June 02, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou perfidious buck-washing pizzle" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 2, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- June 04, 2015 at 08:12AM

"Thou weedy lilly-livered runagate" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 4, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- June 04, 2015 at 08:14AM

"Thou reeky burly-boned hag" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (actually yesterday's - had the timer set wrong for when to send #Butitgetsyou2today!)

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 4, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- June 05, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou hedge-born logger-headed rogue" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 5, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- June 07, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou pernicious soused clotpoll" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 7, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- June 08, 2015 at 08:26AM

"Thou odious onion-eyed pumpion" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 8, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- June 09, 2015 at 07:27AM

"Thou vain clay-brained whore-son" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 9, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- June 10, 2015 at 07:27AM

"Thou tardy-gaited flap-mouthed scullion" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 10, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- June 11, 2015 at 07:28AM

"Thou un-bookish guts-griping hag" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 11, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- June 12, 2015 at 07:29AM

"Thou reeky wry-necked varlet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 12, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- June 16, 2015 at 07:48AM

"Thou spleeny swag-bellied clotpoll" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 16, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- June 17, 2015 at 07:35AM

"Thou dankish shrill-gorged bum-baily" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 17, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- June 18, 2015 at 01:26PM

"Thou goatish tottering mumble-news" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 18, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- June 20, 2015 at 08:28AM

"Thou bawdy sodden-witted dotard" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 20, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- June 25, 2015 at 07:31AM

"Thou barbarous foolhardy boor" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 25, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- June 26, 2015 at 07:41AM

"Thou knavish fool-born popinjay" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 26, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- June 27, 2015 at 07:42AM

"Thou cankered dizzy-eyed ratsbane" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 27, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- June 28, 2015 at 07:31AM

"Thou churlish earth-vexing measle" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 28, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- June 29, 2015 at 07:31AM

"Thou loathed flap-mouthed clotpoll" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 29, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- June 30, 2015 at 07:31AM

"Thou mangled bate-breeding jolthead" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) June 30, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- July 01, 2015 at 07:31AM

"Thou pernicious glass-gazing enchantress" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 1, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- July 02, 2015 at 07:31AM

"Thou unmannerly ill-breeding bed-swerver" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (*this* one is great! Say out loud - go ahead - delicious on the tongue)

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 2, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- July 04, 2015 at 02:51PM

"Thou bootless swaggering polecat" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (for July 4, I sought American-soundy words. 'appy birthday, 'Murka!)

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 4, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- July 05, 2015 at 07:31AM

"Thou spongy toad-spotted varlet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 5, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- July 06, 2015 at 07:31AM

"Thou traitorous lumpish malt-horse " #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 6, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- July 07, 2015 at 07:40AM

Scheduled for: 7:31am · 3 Jul 2015
"Thou rank-scented fly-bitten flirtgill" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 7, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- July 09, 2015 at 09:04AM

"Thou crooked-pated bacon-fed pignut" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 9, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- July 10, 2015 at 07:53AM

"Thou puking mammering whore-son" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 10, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- July 17, 2015 at 03:41PM

"Thou spongy earth-vexing miscreant" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 17, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- July 18, 2015 at 07:41AM

"Thou fawning glass-gazing clack-dish" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 18, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- July 19, 2015 at 07:42AM

"Thou unctuous fat-kidneyed flirtgill" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 19, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- July 20, 2015 at 07:43AM

"Thou shard-borne unwashed prig" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 20, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- July 21, 2015 at 07:43AM

"Thou gor-bellied guts-griping bed-swerver" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 21, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- July 22, 2015 at 08:20AM

"Thou reeky harpy horn-beast" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 22, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- July 23, 2015 at 07:52AM

"Thou traitorous muddly-mettled mumble-news" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 23, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- July 24, 2015 at 07:52AM

"Thou dankish flap-mouthed malt-horse" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 24, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- July 25, 2015 at 07:35AM

"Thou withered foolhardy jolthead" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 25, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- July 26, 2015 at 07:37AM

"Thou mangled mewling runagate" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 26, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- July 27, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou dog-hearted feeble giglot" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 27, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- July 28, 2015 at 07:29AM

"Thou reeky cockered ratsbane" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 28, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- July 29, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou spongy tedious bed-swerver" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 29, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- July 30, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou puking bacon-fed scullion" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 30, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- July 31, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou gor-bellied frosty-spirited strumpet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) July 31, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 01, 2015 at 07:34AM

"Thou pestilent puppy-headed pumpion" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 1, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 03, 2015 at 09:15AM

"Thou pestilent salt-butter ban-dog" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 3, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 04, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou withered wry-necked scut" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 4, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 05, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou saucy swag-bellied horn-beast" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 5, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 06, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou currish tedious bum-baily" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 6, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 07, 2015 at 02:17PM

"Thou spleeny dizzy-eyed hedge-pig" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 7, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 08, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou reeky pigeon-livered bung" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 8, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 09, 2015 at 07:46AM

"Thou three-suited mammering canker-blossom" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 9, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 10, 2015 at 07:25AM

"Thou churlich flap-eared strumpet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 10, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 11, 2015 at 07:32AM

"Thou odious roguish caitiff" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 11, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 12, 2015 at 07:32AM

"Thou spongy grim-looked swain" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 12, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 13, 2015 at 07:35AM

"Thou fawning buck-washing whore-son" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (I first read "bush-wacking" but that's U.S. Old West, not Shakespeare :-) )

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 13, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 14, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou unctuous knotty-pated clod" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 14, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 15, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou pinch-spotted pigeon-livered bugbear" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 15, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 16, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou puking shag-haired malt-horse" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 16, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 17, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou churlish worse-bodied horn-beast" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 17, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 18, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou bawdy salt-butter elf-skin" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 18, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 19, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou mangled cullionly rudesby" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (eesh, that one does NOT roll off the tongue well...)

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 19, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 20, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou beslubbering guts-griping gudgeon" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 20, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 21, 2015 at 07:30PM

"Thou pernicious scurvy jackanapes" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 22, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 22, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou tardy-gaited tedious wagtail" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 22, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 23, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou shard-borne grim-looked prig" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 23, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 24, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou wayward pigeon-livered flirtgill" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 24, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 25, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou wayward fly-bitten varlet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 25, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 26, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou pinch-spotted cockered hag" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 26, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 27, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou clouted puppy-headed measle" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 27, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 28, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou gleeking envious hag" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (I believe this is the first appearance of "gleeking"; Shakespeare foresaw a TV show?)

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 28, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 29, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou bat-fowling deboshed caitiff" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 29, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 30, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou bawdy lumpish lewdster" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 30, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- August 31, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou plume-plucked mammering maggot" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) August 31, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- September 01, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou mouldy fly-bitten varlet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 1, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- September 05, 2015 at 08:46AM

"Thou clouted bacon-fed prig" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 5, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- September 06, 2015 at 07:42AM

"Thou barbarous sodden-witted runagate" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 6, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- September 07, 2015 at 07:43AM

"Thou beggarly pigeon-livered ratsbane" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 7, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- September 08, 2015 at 07:44AM

"Thou ruttish grim-looked clack-dish" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 8, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- September 09, 2015 at 07:45AM

"Thou surly knotty-pated drudge" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 9, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- September 10, 2015 at 07:45AM

"Thou withered shag-haired malt-horse" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 10, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- September 11, 2015 at 07:46AM

"Thou un-bookish cullionly varlet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 11, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- September 12, 2015 at 07:46AM

"Thou gore-bellied lumpish mumble-news" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 12, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- September 13, 2015 at 07:47AM

"Thou wayward mammering elf-skin " #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 13, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- September 14, 2015 at 07:47AM

"Thou vain hell-hated rudesby" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 14, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- September 15, 2015 at 07:48AM

"Thou mouldy rump-fed canker-blossom" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 15, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- September 16, 2015 at 07:48AM

"Thou tardy-gaited wry-necked popinjay" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 16, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- September 17, 2015 at 07:49AM

"Thou sheep-biting ill-faced giglot" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 17, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- September 18, 2015 at 07:50AM

"Thou unmannerly burly-boned cutpurse" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 18, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- September 19, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou beggarly earth-vexing pignut" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 19, 2015

via Twitter
-----------

---------- September 20, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou cankered ill-faced bung" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 20, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- September 21, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou goatish dull-eyed puttock" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 21, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- September 22, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou pestilent sodden-witted fustilarian" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 22, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- September 23, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou spongy muddy-mettled hill of flesh" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 23, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- September 24, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou weedy feeble whore-son" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 24, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- September 25, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou beastly flap-mouthed codpiece" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 25, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- September 26, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou loutish foolhardy bugbear" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 26, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- September 27, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou beslubbering dull-eyed pizzle" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 27, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- September 28, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou spleeny shag-haired rogue" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 28, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- September 29, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou reeky brassy canker-blossom" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 29, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- September 30, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou rank-scented fat-kidneyed clotpoll" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) September 30, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- October 01, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou pinch-spotted grim-looked hugger-mugger" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 1, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- October 05, 2015 at 10:12AM

"Thou foul-reeking deformed scut" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 5, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- October 06, 2015 at 09:13AM

"Thou fawning pigeon-livered pignut" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 6, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- October 07, 2015 at 07:26AM

"Thou mouldy cullionly cutpurse" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 7, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- October 08, 2015 at 07:27AM

"Thou pinch-spotted unwashed varlet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 8, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- October 09, 2015 at 07:27AM

"Thou gor-bellied scurvy puttock" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 9, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- October 10, 2015 at 07:28AM

"Thou unbookish soused jolthead" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 10, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- October 11, 2015 at 07:29AM

"Thou traitorous harpy ruffian" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 11, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- October 15, 2015 at 04:47PM

"Thou odious frosty-spirited swain" #TodaysShakespeareInsult apologies for missing a couple days. Though I had loaded up the queue more.

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 15, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- October 15, 2015 at 04:48PM

"Thou three-suited feeble whore-son" #TodaysShakespeareInsult - the one I should have sent on Monday.

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 15, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- October 15, 2015 at 04:48PM

"Thou crooked-pated impudent pizzle" #TodaysShakespeareInsult - the one you should have received on Tuesday.

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 15, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- October 15, 2015 at 04:49PM

"Thou plume-plucked onion-eyed runagate" #TodaysShakespeareInsult - you should have gotten this one Wednesday

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 15, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- October 16, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou three-suited bate-breeding maggot " #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 16, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- October 20, 2015 at 07:58AM

"Thou odious salt-butter blood-sucker" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 20, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- October 20, 2015 at 07:58AM

"Thou wayward shag-haired hornbeast" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (this should have gone out Monday)

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 20, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- October 20, 2015 at 08:01AM

"Thou withered buck-washing rogue" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (this should have gone out Sunday)

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 20, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- October 20, 2015 at 08:01AM

"Thou unctuous fool-born hill of flesh" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (this should have gone out Saturday)

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 20, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- October 21, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou ruttish tedious hag" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 21, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- October 22, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou pestilent swag-bellied maggot" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 22, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- October 23, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou tardy-gaited grim-looked prig" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 23, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- October 24, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou clouted sodden-witted bung" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 24, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- October 25, 2015 at 09:05PM

"Thou incestuous half-faced bum-baily" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 26, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- October 26, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou beslubbering feeble caitiff" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 26, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- October 27, 2015 at 07:30PM

"Thou unmannerly beetle-headed flirtgill" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (gosh, this one sits on the tongue nicely!)

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 28, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- October 28, 2015 at 08:47AM

"Thou currish fool-born pumpion" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 28, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- October 29, 2015 at 09:35AM

"Thou hedge-born roguish blood-sucker" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) October 29, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- October 31, 2015 at 10:08PM

"Thou dog-hearted deformed malt-horse" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 1, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 01, 2015 at 11:30AM

"Thou haggard foolhardy boor" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 1, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 02, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou beslubbering prattling lewdster" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 2, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 04, 2015 at 08:20AM

"Thou goatish frosty-spirited codpiece" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 4, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 05, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou cankered sodden-witted swain" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 5, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 06, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou crooked-pated fly-bitten scut" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 6, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 07, 2015 at 07:31AM

"Thou mangled puppy-headed horn-beast" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 7, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 08, 2015 at 07:38AM

"Thou gleeking salt-butter clotpoll" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 8, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 09, 2015 at 07:32AM

"Thou dog-hearted pigeon-livered ratsbane " #TodaysShakespeareInsult [wow - three animals!]

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 9, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 10, 2015 at 07:38AM

"Thou perfidious wry-necked ruffian" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 10, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 11, 2015 at 07:39AM

"Thou three-suited fat-kidneyed jolthead" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 11, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 12, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou milk-livered foolhardy cutpurse" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 12, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 13, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou odious flap-mouthed varlet" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 13, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 14, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou three-suited swaggering drudge" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 14, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 15, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou pestilent worse-bodied jolthead" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 15, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 16, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou pinch-spotted cockered rogue" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 16, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 17, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou shard-borne puppy-headed elf-skin" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 17, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 18, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou puking rump-fed caitiff" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 18, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 19, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou barbarous bate-breeding rudesby" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 19, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 20, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou fen-sucked lily-livered clotpoll" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 20, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 21, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou loutish bacon-fed dotard" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 21, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 22, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou dankish flap-eared scut" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 22, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 23, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou incestuous dull-eyed codpiece" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 23, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 24, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou spleeny bate-breeding hugger-mugger" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 24, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 25, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou loathed ill-breeding maggot" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 25, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 26, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou monstrous knotty-pated pumpion" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 26, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 27, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou reeky fly-bitten miscreant" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 27, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 28, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou pernicious impudent applejohn" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 28, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 29, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou spongy shag-haired malt-horse" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 29, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- November 30, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou spleeny fusty puttock" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) November 30, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- December 02, 2015 at 07:25AM

"Thou beastly muddy-mettled bung" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (this is yesterday's)

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) December 2, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- December 02, 2015 at 07:26AM

"Thou hedge-born half-face pignut" #TodaysShakespeareInsult (today's)

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) December 2, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- December 03, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou spleeny feeble swain" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) December 3, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- December 04, 2015 at 07:27AM

"Thou mangled fly-bitten flirtgill" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) December 4, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- December 05, 2015 at 07:27AM

"Thou wayward worse-bodied mumble-news" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) December 5, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- December 06, 2015 at 07:28AM

"Thou rank-scented half-faced ban-dog" #TodaysShakespeareInsult And today, a !חג חנוכה שמח

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) December 6, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- December 07, 2015 at 07:39AM

"Thou surly sodden-witted clack-dish" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) December 7, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- December 08, 2015 at 07:40AM

"Thou withered foolhardy rogue" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) December 8, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- December 09, 2015 at 07:40AM

"Thou unctuous dull-eyed maggot" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) December 9, 2015

via Twitter
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---------- December 10, 2015 at 07:30AM

"Thou goatish shag-haired hill of flesh" #TodaysShakespeareInsult

— Rev David Huber (@revdavidhuber) December 10, 2015

via Twitter
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